Defective
by It's ya grill
Summary: Lance is a fun (and sometimes annoying) guy. But that was before his year with the Galra. Now, his laughs are hollow and the light in his eyes is fake. He has so many mental issues and a fear of being kicked out of the team if they found out. And just his luck: one small slip of the tongue begins the chain reaction. Will they find a different Blue Paladin? (monthly updates)
1. Prologue

**So I'm gonna have fun doing this. Maybe. Idk I might just not be a writer but hey, who says I can't try again. So, Voltron… I was wondering if I should use the title "Such a Phobiac", but I choose "Defective" instead because it's not just multiple phobias, it's some other mental issues as well. I'm so sorry Lance omg. Btw I want to make this humorous as well so don't chew me out. _Disclaimer: I own nothing, otherwise I wouldn't be writing this._  
**

Defective: Prologue

The team has never been so broken. It has been a year since Lance… disappeared. No one wanted to believe he was dead, but everyone has started to lose hope. They've raided so many Galra prisons to no avail. If this one is fruitless as well, they might as well consider him… gone. Forever.

"Team, we can't give up hope yet. Lance might be in there. Maybe, we can finally get him back." Shiro tried to encourage everyone. And himself. Pidge's glasses hid her eyes, but her shaking told everyone she was near tears. Hunk was looking at his feet. Coran was oddly silent. Allura had her game face on, but this one looked darker than normal. Keith looked away, mumbling "Whatever", but they all knew he was hurt way more than anyone else. At first, Keith thought Lance was an annoying jerk (he still thinks he's annoying), but with time, they grew close. Hunk, Keith, and Lance are… were?… as thick as thieves.

"Suit up and go to your lions everyone, we're almost there."

Well, here goes nothing...

* * *

In...Out...In...Out...

"The lions are here!" "Destroy them, don't let them in!"

Lance's breath hitched. 'They... came for me? How did they know I was here? Maybe they...'

He screamed. Yelled. Kicked. Pulled at the chains holding him up. Anything. Anything to let them know he was alive, that they found him. He even spat in Haggar's face. Well, it was actually an accident, but that didn't matter to her.  
Some magic words were spoken and a spell was cast. Then she got punched in the face by Shiro and shot by Hunk. Oh and was held at sword point by Keith. Shiro huffed and turned to look at the prisoner in the cell and his eyes widened when he saw it was _Lance._ He was in his normal attire, but everything was tattered and covered with blood. His wounds were lazily sewn together and some were even infected. His eyes looked dead without their usual spark. Pretty much half of his face was stained with red and his hair was matted with it. All in all, the best word to describe what he looked like was _broken_. Their eyes met and Lance's burned with hope. A small smile spread across his face.

"I knew you would come."

Then Lance closed his eyes. Shiro ran up to him and broke the chains holding him up, then checked his pulse. He sighed in relief when he felt the steady heartbeat of his teammate. Keith knocked Haggar out and ran to help Shiro with picking Lance up. Hunk was to make sure they got to the ship safely and Pidge was their navigator. After 15 minutes and 42 drones, the now complete team were at each of their separate lions. Lance would be riding with Keith.

"Coran, prepare a Healing Pod. We found Lance." Shiro spoke into the microphone. A whoop of glee and a sigh of relief could be heard from the speakers. "You got it, Shiro! One Healing Pod, coming right up!" Coran grinned.

In hindsight, they shouldn't have brushed a whole year as a Galra prisoner off so easily.

* * *

 **yeah, so that's my prolog. sure. next chapter: Landmine  
**


	2. Landmine

**Muahahahahaha! I am trying to be more active, so spare me, please! Also, no idea what I should call Lance's mp3 so imma just call it an iPod because why not… wait can I get sued for doing that? Sure hope not… oh yeah. Disclaimer: Y'all know I don't own Voltron, so get on with the chapter!**

 _ **WARNING: CONTAINS SELF-HARM**_

Defective: Landmine

Lance shot up out of his bed, gasping for breath and drenched in a cold sweat. Another night cycle, another nightmare, no biggie. That is how it's been for the past three months. The three months since he'd been rescued. It's been a month since he found out what Haggar did to him, though. He took off his headphones and set them down, but he turned the volume up so it could be heard throughout his room. This… is how he coped. His phobia list was moderately long, and some were pretty stupid. 'Weak,'he thought to himself,'I'm so weak. If they found out…'he shook his head ferociously, expelling whatever terrible thoughts were trying to creep into his head. He went to the bathroom to complete his daily routine, which included covering up the dark circles under his eyes, music still playing in the background.

"Lance, buddy, you in there?" Hunk knocked. "Allura is holding an important meeting in a few ticks and wants everyone to be there."

"Yeah, gotcha bud. I'll be there in a few." Lance called from the bathroom. _Glad he's back to normal,_ Hunk thought.

Dressed in his usual attire, Lance picked up his iPod and looked at all the important dates, like his little brother's birthday. _Athazagoraphobia: the fear of forgetting or being forgotten._ One of the many phobias on his list. He checked the date: _xx/xx/xxxx._

Lance POV:

Woah. Today is my birthday. Who knew? I could feel a genuine smile creeping onto my face, not some shitty fake one. "I've got a good feeling about today," I said out loud. It felt somewhat reassuring. Too bad I have to pause the music…

I steeled my nerves, paused the music, and _ran straight to the meeting like my life depended on it._ _Monophobia: The fear of being alone._ I slowed to a fast walk so that I didn't look crazy. Even though I probably am, but that's beside the point. I threw on my smiling mask and walked in. "Hey guys, whats up?"

No one's POV:

Lance sat down in the free seat and looked around, then focused his gaze onto Princess Allura.

"Some of you have noticed that Coran and I seem… put off on this specific date." Allura's gaze wandered towards Shiro, the team Daddy, then she continued, "It is because today marks the day Altea fell." _**Boom.**_ Lance's smile fell, or, more accurately, his mask shattered. He blinked once, twice, three times, and fell out of his chair, drawing all eyes to him. Said eyes widened in the silent room when he mumbled, "Well, doesn't that add onto the shit pile I call life." He got up and paled when he found everyone staring at him in shock. No one had ever heard Lance swear in his life, hell, no one even knew he _knew_ words like that. Looks like the ones they were giving Lance were extremely unsettling for him. "Damn, d-did I, um… fuck..." 'STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!' "Ah… c-could you all just..." His hands were slowly curling into fists. "DAMN IT! FUCKING STOP IT! STOP STARING AT ME!" Lance shouted, fists at his sides, a few tears rolling down his cheeks, before he bolted out of the room and made a beeline for his room. "Lance!" "Hold up, dude!" "Buddy, what's wrong?" "Lance, please come back!" Ignore them. Ignore them. It felt like he had been running forever before he got to his paradise and locked the door.

'Grab the iPod. Put on the headphones. Lower volume. Hit play. Pull out your pocket knife. Roll up your sleeve.' Bang bang. "Lance, please, open up the door! We just want to talk!" It was Allura. "Go away, I don't need to talk to anyone right now." Lance mumbled back, just loud enough for everyone to hear. "Oh for the love of… Lance, you can't hide yourself and hope we'll forget what happened. You know we won't. Please, just come out so we can talk." It was Keith. "No thanks, I'm fine." Lance used the same mumble as before. 'Don't scream, you wimp. Don't whimper. Nothing. This is what you get for being weak.' What his mind was telling him chilled him to the bone, it was like there was a totally different person in his head. Images of Haggar flashed in his mind. 'Oh god, no. No nope soooo much nope, get out, pack your bags and go and get the fuck OUT! NOBODY LOVES YOUR WRINKLY ASS!' The pocket knife Lance was holding swiftly cut through his skin and flesh each time, leaving multiple bleeding cuts behind. Silent tears rolled down his cheeks. 'What am I doing?' Another cut. 'I'm supposed to be the cocky, funny Paladin.' Two more. 'No, _why_ am I doing this? They could easily replace me with someone else. Blue is totally accepting of new pilots...' Seven is the lucky number. 'That's what I am. I'm not strong like Keith, or a tech freak like Pidge and Hunk, I'm not an amazing chef, I can't control the castle, I'm not a great team leader like Shiro, hell, I don't even think I'm a good teammate.' Or was the number eleven? Eh, have both just in case…

Lance curled up on himself and cried, not caring about how loud he was, or that his blood was dripping onto the floor and soaking into his jacket and jeans. However, he should have cared about a small stream of his blood that silently flowed underneath his door. He should have cared that his team was still out there. He should have cared about the surprised shouts of his friends. So… sleepy. Why was he so tired? Falling, falling, falling, **BLACK.**

 **Bloopers: Lance shot up out of his bread, (…) drenched in a cold sweet. (…) creep into his heaf. (…), but that's beside the paont. (…). He blanked once, (…) Rool up your sleeve. (…) in his hed. (…) 'What am I dong?'**

 **Aaaaagh, I want to give Lance so many hugs right now. I love him, but I put him through pain… argh, kill me ;-;**

 **So that was 'Landmine'. Yep. Hehehehe. Soooo, review, follow and favorite? If you want, ya know.**

 **So, I'd like to ask all those professional artists out there… what app do you paint with?**

 **Next chapter: Bang bang! ...Crash**


	3. Bang Bang! Crash

**Hehehehehe… I'm trying to be prepared. 'Landmine' and 'Bang bang! ...Crash' were written on the same day… Maybe I should chill a little? Nah. There ain't no rest for the wicked… kudos to people who know where that is from. So, I decided to put in character/letter count because it sounds cool. (actually, I'm too lazy to do so, so nah) Not really but why not? I'm writing this story while listening to "Mama" from My Chemical Romance. Great song. SooooOOoOoooOOOOOoo, ON WITH WHATEVER I HAVE PLANNED! WOOOOOO! I need more sleep.**

 **DISCLAIMER: Nothing belongs to me, N-O-T-H-I-N-G. Got it? Good.  
**

Defective: Bang bang! ...Crash

 _Set before Lance passes out._

The team chased him all the way to his room, but they were too late. He had already locked his door. Soft whispers and light, uneasy footsteps could be heard from the other side. They could hear him sit down in front of the door. Allura walked forwards and pounded on the door. "Lance, please, open up the door! We just want to talk!" Her voice echoed throughout the halls of the castle. Lance's response was muffled but loud enough to hear: "Go away, I don't need to talk to anyone right now." Now it was Keith's turn. "Oh for the love of… Lance, you can't hide yourself and hope we'll forget what happened. You know we won't. Please, just come out so we can talk." But it was turned down again with "No thanks, I'm fine."

Silence, with quiet sobs coming from the other side of the door. No one knew what to do. That is, until a small stream of blood crept underneath the door. Everyone's eyes went wide and most of them shouted. Pidge's words were quite… colorful. The sobbing stopped abruptly, and everyone knew that it never meant anything good. More forceful pounding on the door, courtesy of Shiro, left nothing but a large dent in the metal. "Hunk, grab your Bayard and blast the door down." Shiro ordered. "A-Are you sure I should do that? I mean, Lance might, y'know, be sitting right in front of the door and I could hurt him or something..." Hunk rambled. Shiro sighed and cut a big enough hole in the wall so that Pidge could crawl through to talk to Lance. Reluctantly, she went through. But what awaited her eyes was a terrible sight: Blood. Lance was laying in a small puddle of his own blood, dry and fresh alike. A soaked journal lay in his limp hands. Strange things were etched into his walls, and some had dry blood running down the letters. It looked like a mad house in here. So, she did the most logical thing when in such a situation: she screamed and hyperventilated. Shiro yelled at her to "stay calm". Yet there was no way to calm down. But, even while in a panic, she knew to check on him. Cool; not too cold, but not warm like a normal human should be. "Jesus fuck Lance, you're not fine," she whispered, "You're not fine at all. You haven't been since the Galra..."

She was angry. Not at her friend for torturing himself, no, she was mad at the people… no, _things_ , the things that made him insane. 'They'll pay. _All_ of them. I'll make sure they all rot in hell even if it _kills me_.' Pidge unlocked the door and dragged Lance out. Everyone had different reactions: Hunk puked (no duh), Keith ran to his side and laid Lance's head in his lap, Shiro had a Vietnam flashback, Allura gasped with silent tears falling down her cheeks, and Coran shakily whispered that he'll "get a healing pod ready". Keith carried Lance bridal style to the pod and gently laid him inside. Overreacting? Probably. But you can't be too careful.

Actually, yes, yes you can. A month of waiting. Four weeks of hardship. Thirty days of crying in front of Lance's pod. 720 hours of silence. 43,200 minutes of the horrible image of Lance's blood-caked room. 2,592,000 seconds of digging up hidden secrets. And afterward, a year of picking up the pieces of the broken castle.

 **So, that was it. Yeah… Lance definitely needs a hug. Help my space baby ;_;  
Yah, so, RFF?  
Next chappie: I'm only Human...**

 **P.S.: I did the calculations myself, so correct me if I'm wrong**

 **P.P.S.: GRRRR YOU CAN'T PUT PERIODS INTO CHAPTER NAMES I'M _MAAAAAD_**


	4. Author's note: Sorry!

**Heya guys! Just wanted to say sorry for not posting last weekend, I was at my grandparents house and I forgot my phone. Again, sorry, but I'll try to make sure to regularly update this!**


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